Following everyone's lead, I have made a list of resolutions:

1. Lose 125 pounds by starvation.
2. Make at least 83 people fall madly in love with me; make 46 of those propose.
3. Grow a brain.
4. Buy some talent. Might have to steal- running low on Hanukkah money.
5. Go on a diet consisting of only food products that are orange. May be difficult considering resolution number 1.
6. Become a member of an African tribe. Wear animal skin as clothes. Tribal paint not necessary, but suggested.
7. Become fluent in 73 languages, 15 of which must be dead.
8. Get into Harvard. This will be especially difficult since I did not apply to Harvard. I believe in you, Ariel!
9. Only refer to myself in third person, and make it sound intelligent.
10. Become a professional ice skater. Make own costume.
11. Learn how to play 33 instruments without the help of knowing how to read music.
12. Become an alcoholic. Might improve writing.
13. This is hard.
14. Save 872,314 people, only to kill them minutes later in order to take over whatever third world country they're in.
15. Cover my body in tattoos I've done myself.
16. Become a groupie and do groupie deeds until followed band writes at least 14 songs about me. Must all be positive songs.
17. Become ambidextrous. Paint a reproduction of the Mona Lisa with both hands- at the same time.
18. Kill Julie and get away with it. Sorry Julie, it has to be done.
19. Become Marilyn Monroe.
20. Start a religion based on my greatness. Six holy wars must follow the birth of the religion.
21. Inspire world peace through my participation in a traveling circus.
22. How did Julie do 25 of these?
23. Become a knight at Medieval Times. I know, I rock.
24. Sell pet rocks to celebrities at $4,124 a rock.
25. Suck off Bush and tell everyone, thus causing his impeachment.
26. Become someone different for college.
27. I beat Julie!